Its been a month since I published a blog post. During this time, I did a lot of reflecting, questioning, doubting my reasons for keeping a blog. The doubts surrounded such things as: there is already so much noise out there, why should I add more noise? The whole aim for this blog is for us to get better at listening within – does it make any sense to add one more outside voice for people to listen to?
The questions included: What would people be most interested in reading? Who are these “people”? What would I be most interested in writing? What would I feel authentic about writing? What is my purpose with this blog? Is there another form of creative expression which would feel more authentic for me or perhaps more effectively communicate what wants to be communicated?
I had more time to explore the inward journey this past month, and found myself feeling many intense emotions in this process. While in some ways this felt like good fodder for a blog post, the emotions were actually raw and wild. I didn’t begin to know what to say about them, how to use language to communicate them and their lessons. They were beyond the use of language. While my yoga practice helped me to process them in my body, that still was not something I knew how to use language to describe. I’m now beginning to better understand them and intend to have a few upcoming posts attempting to reflect on their significance.
Nearly everyday for the last month I thought, “Shall I blog today?” For various reasons, including those mentioned above, the answer kept being, “No, not today.” As I waited for clarity, I suddenly realized I was subconsciously waiting for a bright light to shine down on me from heaven and bestow upon me a divine grand purpose – a “something” that I am supposed to do with my life which would save millions of people from misery, struggle, oppression and pain. Once that subconscious thought became conscious, I remembered my little purpose. My little purpose is to do in every moment, whatever the world needs most to bring more love and life into the world. This often means simply being kind. As much as possible, creating safe spaces for people to feel free to explore our blocks which keep us from feeling all the love and life available to us.
With this right-sized purpose for blogging, I cleared away many of the above questions. I decided to stop overthinking it. On days where I have something I feel the need to say, I will say it, regardless of the size or nature or even existence of the audience. On days where a different form of expression feels more appropriate, or I don’t have something to say, I won’t blog. Doing what’s “right” in this moment, letting go of results.